Best Dating Site In Your 30s

6/12/2022

Even if you’re the kind of person who loves the thrill of the hunt, the seemingly never-ending dating carousel can start to feel like a bit of a drag. Bad dates can be extremely demoralizing, especially if you’re having the same kind of negative experience over and over again. You start to lose faith in humanity when it feels like people are disappointing you on a loop. But this might just mean that your current dating strategy isn’t serving you! If that’s the case, then you’re going to want to try one of the nine best dating apps for your 30s.

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After a seven-year relationship unexpectedly ended in my mid-30s, I knew that I had no choice but to get on dating apps, despite never having used them before. Luckily, I had friends with plenty of experience in the online dating world to direct me to the best dating apps for your 30s. I was fairly certain that Tinder wasn’t right for me—it just felt like the kind of thing you use to have fun in your 20s—and most of my pals agreed. That’s certainly not to say that you can’t find lasting love on Tinder, it’s just that most people don’t use it to find something long-term and serious, so you might as well skip it (unless some temporary fun is what you’re looking for, of course!).

Anecdotal evidence shows that if you’re willing to pay for an app, then you’re more likely to match with others who are also serious about finding love. However, that doesn’t mean you have to shell out money to find your future partner. The best dating apps for your 30s give you the option to pay, but don’t force it. This way, you can bop around and see what’s right for you without committing to a monthly payment.

Scroll on to see the 9 best dating apps for your 30s:

Hinge

Hinge’s motto is “Designed to be deleted.” The app and its users are goal-oriented: the said goal being finding a meaningful relationship. Hinge is one of the best dating apps for your 30s because you really get a sense that the other users are looking for a true connection. It’s not as oversaturated with users as more popular apps like Bumble and Tinder, so for the most part it all feels quite purposeful and earnest. The fact that there are fewer users does mean that you run out of swipes faster than on other apps, but that means also you waste less time scrolling.

If you want to expedite the process, you can sign up for one, three, or six months of Preferred Membership, starting at $19.99 for one month. I met my current partner on Hinge and am quick to recommend it to those looking for the real deal. What can I say, it worked!

Bumble

I’ve definitely spent a fair amount of time on Bumble and for the most part, found that the people who are on it are serious about finding relationships. There are a lot of people using this app, which is great because you never run out of potential lovers to check out. That said, because of the sheer volume of users, a ton of time can be spent swiping away with little to no success, so it’s definitely something to do while watching a chill show in the background.

In my opinion, Bumble has cuter prompt questions than Hinge, and you can up the ante by signing up for Bumble Boost for $14.99 a month or Bumble Premium for $32.99 a month. Each come with their own perks and benefits.

HER

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HER is one of the best dating apps for your 30s for LGBTQ+ women and queer folks. I found it to be a safe and inclusive space to connect with queer women and find out about LGBTQ+ events. It can be tricky to navigate traditional dating apps as a queer person, and HER makes negotiating all of that much simpler.

It feels like a very grown-up app—the people on it are serious about dating and it has a fun, sweet, yet no-nonsense vibe. The app’s motto is “Find your person,” so it’s a good place to start for anyone looking to go beyond the hookup world. It also has a paid subscription starting at $14.99 a month that comes with additional features.

Match

Match is one of the OG dating sites from the mid-aughts that made the switch to an app-style platform but retained its subscriber-only model. Rates begin at $17.99 a month and go up depending on which features you prefer. The benefit of this price model is that the people who are on the app are serious about finding someone. No one is shelling out money who doesn’t actually want to get meaningful results, you know?

It’s one of the best sites for single professionals, so there are lots of high-quality matches to be found (their words, not mine—you cannot ascribe a monetary value to a human!) You don’t need to worry about wasting your time with people who are dabbling more casual scenarios because everyone on the app is on a mission to find love!

Lox Club

Lox Club is a relatively new members-only dating app primarily for Jewish people, though anyone can apply. They state that “The Lox Club is like a deli; it’s culturally Jewish, but you don’t have to be Jewish to enjoy it.” I am not Jewish and I was accepted back when I was single and mingling. It’s primarily based in the states, but it is available everywhere, so members can see compatible matches from cities all over the world—perfect if you’re looking for a way to get an EU passport. (Wink, wink!)

The app specifically recruits non-douchey, funny, down-to-earth, ambitious people who are looking for something real. Compared to other apps it’s a pretty small pool of members to pick from, but we’re talking quality over quantity here.

OK Cupid

Similar to Harmony,(but much more affordable) OK Cupid matches users based on an extensive questionnaire and a math-based matching system that links you up with compatible potential dates. It’s a fairly successful and decently accurate system if you’re willing to be really honest about what you’re looking for and who you are interested in.

This dating site is insanely popular! Like Match, OK Cupid started out as a website that turned into an app, making it much more convenient. It also has a premium membership option starting at $39.99 a month if you want to really ramp it up and take advantage of even more features.

Raya

For reasons we needn’t get into here, I was blacklisted from Raya a few years back and wasn’t able to take advantage of this exclusive dating app while I could. Luckily, I have plenty of friends who have found long-term relationships on the members-only app and lived to tell the tale.

Raya used to be a secret dating app for celebrities, but now most people can get on it (present company excluded) if they have a friend pass and are selected by a mysterious committee. If you’re not put off by the slightly status-y vibe or the monthly fee, ($7.99) then you’ll be able to check out some seriously cool people all over the world.

Ship

Unlike most dating apps, Ship requires the cooperation of your friends—they’re the ones doing the swiping for you! My friend Jessie and I made profiles for each other last year and had a blast sending each other potential matches. You set up your profile, get matched to other users that your friends like, and then get to chatting!

Best Dating Site For 30 Year Old

I found it to be an incredibly refreshing and fun take on the traditional dating app. It felt much less arduous—and since it’s still pretty small scale compared to other apps, there’s less wading through mud, if you know that I mean. By the time I got to my mid-late 30s, I knew it was time to recruit some pals to weigh in on my questionable dating habits, and this free app made it easy and fun.

Coffee Meets Bagel

One of the reasons that Coffee Meets Bagel is one of the best dating apps for your 30s is that users fill out an extensive profile that potential matches can see immediately. It completely eliminates the need for small talk, one of the most dreaded parts of online dating.

Coffee Meets Bagel pushes back against the notion that dating apps are for hookups, and actively combats ambiguity or confusion that can sometimes surround online dating. If you’re on Coffee Meets Bagel, then you’re looking for something serious.

Contents

Here are 12 tips for dating in your 30s.

Dating is hard at any age, but even more so in your 30s and 40s. If you’ve recently become single or just turned 31 and are beginning to notice how dating after 30 has changed, you came to the right place.

Just as you should be open to dating a divorcee, you should also be open to dating someone younger than you. Does age really matter much once you’ve hit 31? Not really. One of my ex-girlfriends is 35, and she just married a 27-year old. Their relationship works because they are madly in love and they support each other in the ways that they both need. Plus, they have a great time together and neither of them could imagine a world without the other person in it. Age is just a number — “dating after 30” only matters when you make it matter.

Now that I’m in my 30s, I know that I want more in a woman. In fact, I know exactly what I want in a life partner. I have a nervous personality, so I need a girl who can tell me to relax. I’m very social and love entertaining, so I need someone who can hold their own and have a conversation without me holding her hand. I enjoy learning new things, so I want a partner who is willing to teach me stuff. If you’ve never really thought about what you want in a partner, I suggest you figure it out soon. Sit down with a pad and pen, and write down the names of the last couple of people you’ve dated. Next to each name, list the top five things you liked about them and the top five things you didn’t like about them. Set the list aside, and come back a few days later. Read it carefully and you’ll probably notice that there are repetitive descriptors on the list. The top qualities that you liked about these people are what you should look for in your next relationship.

Everyone who is single in their 30s has dealt with their own form of heartbreak—be it ghosting, cheating, or death. But it’s time to leave the past in the past. The third date is not a good time to discuss how your ex-girlfriend cheated on you for three years and you didn’t realize it until anonymous email account sent you a photo of her having sex with another guy. Let it go! We all have skeletons in the closet. This doesn’t mean you have to pull one out and wear it. Yes, your past has shaped who you are, but it’s your past, not your present or future. Instead, focus on what is happening now and look where you are going next.

The nurse who couldn’t commit. The workaholic who ended up having a girlfriend who lived with her. The fiancée who vanished the night after I introduced her to all of my friends. This is a small list of girls who I’ve recently dated and how the relationship ended. When you’re dating after 30, it’s much easier to become jaded and bitter; so many relationships have not worked out that you can start to think it’s never going to happen. But it’s important not to let this negative thinking get the best of you. If you think it’s never going to happen, then it won’t; you have to think it will happen and be positive.When you meet someone new, don’t be jaded or bitter. You don’t know how things will end up with this person, so give them a chance. It’s also a good idea not to be overly direct. Telling the attractive lawyer that you want three kids and already have their names picked out on the second date is not a good idea. You might scare them away!

When you’ve been in a lot of unsuccessful relationships, a natural defense mechanism is to put your guard up. If you don’t let anyone in, then you won’t get hurt, right? However, if you don’t let anyone in, you probably won’t end up finding the one. When the time is right and you’ve met someone that you’re into and who is also into you, let your guard down. Be vulnerable. If this makes you feel anxious, tell yourself everything will be okay. Because you know what—it will be!

When you’re in your 30s, it’s easy to get caught up in thinking about the things you don’t have yet. You haven’t met the one, you’re not married, you don’t live in a big house, and you don’t have children. Wanting all of these things is okay, but grilling every person you date to see if they have what it takes to be the parent of your children is not. Focus on having fun and getting to know the person. What’s the point of being in a relationship at any age if you’re not having fun? It shouldn’t be a job, and it shouldn’t be depressing. A relationship should be filled with joy, laughter, and love—whether you’re dating after 30 or 45 or even 55.

The average divorce rate in the world is somewhere between 42% and 50%, so when you’re dating after 30, you are going to date divorced people. I’ve dated more divorced woman than I can count— in fact I’ve only dated one not divorced, over the age of 35. When it comes to discussing their marriage, don’t pry. If they want to talk about what happened, they will when the time is right. The great thing about divorced people is that they aren’t afraid of commitment.

A year ago, I was on a first date with a girl I met on FirstMet. Halfway through a glass of rosé, I knew I wanted nothing to do with her. When I emptied the glass, she asked if I wanted another. I shocked both myself and him when I said, “No thanks. I’m going to go. You’re not right for me.” I walked out the bar and I felt invigorated! Why had I sat through countless hour-long dates with girls I wasn’t into? Don’t waste your time. If you’re not into the person, stop talking to them. Stop texting them. Stop hanging out with them. Life is too short. Wouldn’t you much rather get a good night of beauty sleep than be out drinking empty calories with a person you’re just not that into?

Good communication is crucial to any relationship, be it with your best friend from grade school or the new girl at work you’re crushing on. When you’re dating after 30, you should be able to talk to the person openly and honestly. Likewise, they should be able to talk to you openly and honestly. Got into your first fight? Talk it out maturely. If you’re not communicating early on in the relationship, you probably won’t get better at it as things move forward.

When I was 26, I dated a girl-cop who was a couple of years older than me. She was incredibly charming and good-looking, and we lived in the same neighborhood. However, she often made comments that rubbed me the wrong way, and I always had an uneasy feeling in my stomach. My gut was telling me that she wasn’t the one for me, but I wasn’t ready to listen to it. Now, I always trust my gut instincts and you should too. Listen to your intuition. If something is telling you she’s not right, she’s probably not.

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Don’t pretend to be someone you are not. You won’t be able to keep the charade going on forever, so just be yourself. Own who you are. Confidence is attractive. You do you.

Nobody should settle for a partner who they are only sort of into. The relationship won’t be healthy, nor will it last. However, nobody should be waiting around for “Princess Charming” to show up either. You aren’t perfect, so stop seeking perfection in a partner. Be ready to compromise. Who cares if she wears the world’s ugliest pajama pants? If she’s wearing them while making you the most delicious eggs Benedict you’ve ever tasted, things aren’t too bad, right?

And now, how about, you stop procrastinating, get yourself together and find THE ONE?!

Best Dating Sites In Your 30s

We found the best free-of-charge dating site for dating after 30, we dare you to go there and find your soul mate once and for all!

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