It’s not unusual for an ex to start dating right away. And the reason for that is very simple. More often than not, dumpers emotionally detach long before they actually break up with their dumpees.

Oftentimes, they leave for someone else—and other times, they immediately download a dating app with the intention to connect with thousands of nearby singles.

Dating site for Expats in Germany Finding love is a challenging quest even in your home country. Dating in Germany will either make it more so or raise the chance to finally get the partner you've been looking for all along. He and SJ are still dating, though SJ goes to Columbia. Jared is also at Yale, but Justyce never sees him. When he comes home for Christmas, though, he encounters Jared at Manny’s grave, and the two boys reconcile their differences. Jared expresses how badly he misses Manny, and he tells Justyce that he’s decided to become a civil rights. The problem is that after he told me he didn't want to be on the dating site anymore, I took myself off it as I thought it was fair as I wasn't looking at the moment. He told me he'd do the same and would like to concentrate on us. However, he is still on the site. I know this as I can still log on myself. He told me that he's not dating anyone else now and not sure that he will, but he also didn't say that he wouldn't. I dropped it then since I didn't want to push too much after a month. I still log onto the site, though I'm not responding to anyone's email, and a few days ago on my homepage it shows that he uploaded a new picture. He might still be treating your relationship as a casual thing and assuming that you are too. If you want something more, you need to tell him how you feel. Even if he’s not on the same page as you, at least you’ll know and can move forward. Scenario 4: You’re just not sure if she’s still actively online dating.

Although dumpers are technically “allowed” to do what they want after the breakup, it’s still incredibly disrespectful toward the grieving dumpees.

This is especially true if the couple’s relationship was long-term and the dumpee is struggling to pull himself or herself together.

It’s unfortunate that most breakups are highly stressful and can feel unbelievably damaging to one’s well-being. That’s why the majority of dumpees could use a lot of love and support after such a difficult personal trial.

But instead of offering support, most dumpers give their dumpees their absolute worst just to show them how “messed up” they are. Furthermore, they indirectly show their dumpees how “easily replaceable” they are—and how little their love actually mattered.

Their actions also tell their dumpees that they aren’t grieving over the relationship one bit and that they are doing just fine without them.

So while dumpers are out partying, dating, and having the time of their lives, dumpees are shutting themselves in and mourning over their “loss.”

This article is for all the dumpees who are in disbelief that their ex is on Tinder and other dating apps and websites right after the breakup.

My ex went on Tinder right after the breakup

If your ex went on Tinder right after the breakup, you can expect your ex to get involved with someone new relatively quickly. That’s the point of signing up for Tinder, after all.

It’s really no mystery that your ex intends to meet someone new as soon as possible and jump from one person to the next.

But little does your ex know that although it might be easy to find someone to replace your spot, your ex will still have to face many difficulties that come with a new relationship.

Your ex will first have to get to know a few people, discern if they are compatible and get along with each other, and finally put in a lot of effort to make it work.

And that’s something that could take a long time. Your ex already feels exhausted from your relationship, so dating another person right away might not be the best idea.

It might give your ex some initial hope that someone is showing an interest in him or her, but apart from the attraction, there are many factors that could affect your ex’s Tinder date.

Your ex will first have to go through all the dating phases before he or she decides whether to pursue or abandon the relationship.

This means that your ex will have to date and probably even sleep with some people before he or she comes to that conclusion. Your ex might have to date one person or perhaps many people. Nobody really knows.

But no matter what happens, you should never wait for your ex to have an epiphany and come back to you. You really can’t wait as long as your ex is on Tinder and various dating apps, playing around with other people.

I saw my ex on a dating site!

If you saw your ex on a dating site, whatever you do, don’t cause havoc.

Your ex can and will do whatever he or she wants. That’s why you shouldn’t interfere with his or her free will no matter how good your intentions are.

Keep in mind that your ex will likely date the first person who shows interest. So try to become okay with your ex dating someone else even if it’s the last thing you want right now.

Whether it’s online or offline, your ex will eventually meet someone new and try to build a relationship with that person.

That’s why you must prepare yourself in advance so that you don’t experience a huge emotional setback when you see your ex with someone else.

I know it’s shocking to find your ex on a dating site shortly after the breakup when you’re still terribly heartbroken. I also know it’s ego-shattering and self-esteem breaking to the point where a lot of people become severely depressed.

Honestly, I wish I had a magic potion to solve their worries, but the best possible advice I can give to any dumpee is to avoid seeing their dumper ex on Facebook, Instagram, and even Tinder.

Every dumpee can do this by deleting his or her profile or by unfollowing the dumper on all social media platforms. But a lot of dumpees are too afraid to do that because they still think their ex will come back.

That’s why I’m here to tell you that saving sentimental reminders of the past is completely pointless as your ex is no longer a part of your present.

As long as your ex is running wild on Tinder and other dating platforms, you should get rid of gifts and everything associated with your ex.

Why is my ex on a dating site already?

In all honesty, it’s almost too common for an ex-partner to sign up for a dating website.

Many dumpers emotionally check out of the relationship weeks or months prior to the breakup, so creating a new dating profile is very easy for them.

This implies that your ex was more likely than not ready to meet someone new a long time ago when you were still officially in a relationship with him or her. You just didn’t know about it.

Maybe your ex went on Tinder even before the actual breakup. Nobody really knows.

But the truth is that your ex would have done it sooner, had he or she known your relationship was going to end.

Your ex went on Tinder out of desperation

You must understand that your ex had lost his or her internal battle to fight for the relationship long ago and that he or she was waiting for one last push.

This final push eventually came and that was it for the relationship. No more arguments, anxiety, stress, or tears. The battle was finally over for your ex.

As a result of a long exhausting battle, your ex’s fury took care of the rest. And that’s why your ex abruptly thought to himself or herself “Oh well… onto the next one.

Since you ex felt like the victim, he or she avoided taking responsibility and assumed that someone else will be able to replace your spot.

Not only did your ex think that someone else will quickly satisfy his or her emotional needs, but your ex also believed that a new person will do better.

Dumping you just to get together with a downgrade wouldn’t work, after all. That’s why your ex is signing up on a dating website to meet someone better, prettier, more reliable, smarter, and a more self-aware you 2.0.

I’m worried my ex will meet someone new

I know you’re probably scared your ex will meet someone new and live the perfect fairy-tale ever after. But that’s something you should never, ever worry about. Your ex is no longer a part of your life, after all.

Your ex signed up for Tinder, POF, and other dating websites because he or she wants to meet other people. And that’s precisely why you have no choice but to stop worrying about what your ex thinks and does in his or her spare time.

As long as your ex isn’t with you, he or she doesn’t care enough about you. Moreover, your ex isn’t just pretending to be over you or playing some silly mind games with you.

Your ex just feels so tired from your relationship that he or she wants to give Tinder and other dating websites a try. And that’s something you have no control over.

You must remember that it’s your ex who decides what he or she does and who he or she dates.

Even if your ex told you that he or she “just wants to be single for a while,” your ex’s words were still just an excuse to eventually date someone else.

So do your best not to collect information about your ex for no apparent reason. If you do, you will only overburden yourself with unnecessary worries and anxiety.

What to say to an ex on tinder?

As long as you don’t message your ex first and call him or her out, you are going to be just fine.

That’s why my personal suggestion is to do nothing and just say no to his or her match. In this way, you won’t notify your ex that you’re on the same dating app/website, and you will both peacefully continue to browse.

If you lose your temper, on the other hand, and try to convince your ex to change his or her mind, you will probably push your ex away. And that’s not something you want to do.

So if you’re wondering what to say to your ex on Tinder, just say nothing. It’s your safest move.

Why did my ex match me on Tinder?

If your ex matched you on Tinder and you’re wondering why he or she did that, the most reasonable explanation is that your ex wants you to know that he or she is on Tinder as well.

Your ex is probably trying to tell you that he or she doesn’t mind that you’re on Tinder looking for someone.

Also, your ex may also have matched you on Tinder completely randomly. Some people just mash the “like” button mindlessly—so there’s also that possibility.

What do I do now that my ex is on Tinder?

While you’re mourning over the end of your relationship, bettering yourself, and hoping to get a second chance, your ex is already making plans and arrangements with random people that he or she doesn’t even know.

The thought of that can be truly frightening and incredibly heart-breaking.

Not you, nor anybody else deserves such belittlement and disrespect. Especially not someone who stayed by the dumper’s side until the very end.

But even if your ex humiliated you, you don’t need to block your ex on Tinder or on other dating websites just to get even.

Alternatively, just leave your ex alone, and show him or her that you’re not holding any grudges.

This is especially true if you just broke up and he/she is already on Tinder. There is simply no need for you to act.

Firstly, your ex doesn’t want you to throw a tantrum and cause a scene. And secondly, it won’t achieve anything positive. It will likely only start an argument which you would soon regret.

That’s why you should make 2 important arrangements that would stop you from annoying your ex-boyfriend or ex-girlfriend on Tinder or anywhere online.

The first one is to start following the indefinite no contact rule down to the T.

As for the second one, you should start working on your own well-being so that your ex’s actions don’t hurt you anymore.

It’s not you, it’s your ex

If you saw your ex on Tinder or on any other dating app, you should not question your own worth—but rather your ex’s commitment.

Many times, the real issues aren’t with the dumpees. They often revolve around the dumpers’ perception and their understanding of the relationship.

So don’t blame yourself that your ex is already on Tinder and on similar dating platforms. It’s really not your fault.

Instead, look at your ex as someone who’s desperate for attention and leave it at that.

The “My ex will be happier with someone else than he/she was with me” fear

First of all, your ex probably won’t meet the love of his/her life that quickly as your ex hasn’t dealt with his or her own issues yet. Instead of working on becoming the best version your ex could possibly be, he or she instead looked for a rebound—a quick fix.

And that’s exactly the kind of quick fix that Tinder and similar dating websites provide.

They are essentially the places where broken-hearted, ego-starved, and desperate people gather. That’s why the success rate of your ex meeting a person with genuine intentions is quite low. It’s not impossible—but predominantly inconceivable.

Secondly, your ex is likely in no mental state to develop a high-quality relationship. His or her relationship had just ended, so what are the odds of giving it his or her best so soon?

And thirdly, even if your ex is merely looking for fun on such promiscuous, non-selective apps and websites, your ex is merely looking for someone to raise his or her ego—which would ultimately empower him or her.

Your ex may not be after the emotional fulfillment of an intimate relationship, but he or she may nonetheless crave the sexual aspect of the relationship.

This means that your ex could be looking for someone on various dating websites for all the wrong reasons. Tinder, Match, Bumble, Lumen, EliteSingles, OkCupid, POF, Badoo, and Zoosk are just a few dating platforms on which your ex may desperately search for someone right after the breakup.

But just because your ex is looking for someone, doesn’t imply that your ex’s future relationship is going to be any better than yours.

Went On A Date And He

It can’t be as long as your ex is blaming you and indirectly refusing to improve his or her shortcomings.

Your ex is on a dating website to reap the benefits of a romantic/sexual relationship

Let’s face it. Everyone has the right to find someone with whom they get along with. Just how you deserve to live a happy, healthy, and prosperous life, so does your ex.

But when your ex creates a dating profile literally the moment you get broken up with, that’s a completely different story.

Whether your ex was your boyfriend or girlfriend doesn’t make a difference. Both genders are human beings with emotions—and we all deserve a ton of respect for staying with our partner until the very end.

Provided we were loyal and committed until the relationship came to an end, we deserve everything and much more.

And that, unfortunately, is something dumpers can’t seem to understand. They are so bitter from the relationship that they don’t care what they say and do—even if it hurts us badly.

They can’t care enough to go easy on us so long as they believe that they have had it difficult throughout the relationship.

That’s why they usually label themselves as victims and publicly protest against us as if we were the ones who broke up with them.

Breakups help us take off our rose-tinted glasses

Due to the breakup, our feelings toward the dumper are incredibly intensified. Suddenly, we don’t just want the dumper, but we feel as we definitely need him or her.

That’s why dumpers should be even kinder, more respectful and understanding toward us.

But instead, what we usually get is just the opposite. We get an angry and disrespectful ex who cares about no one but himself or herself.

It’s truly a shame we sometimes have to witness such self-centered behavior from a person we love or used to love. But on the positive note, at least we finally get to meet our ex at his or her worst.

Just imagine for one second what it would be like if you faced your ex’s true personality before you got romantically involved with him or her.

Something tells me your ex wouldn’t impress you one bit, hence why your relationship wouldn’t last very long.

Did your ex go on Tinder right after the breakup? What do you think about your ex looking for someone else not even a week after? Write your thoughts in the comments section below.

Related Posts:

Updated August 24, 2017 3:07 pm

If a woman is on a date with someone she’s not into, the guy can often tell by her body language, Tebb says.

“Her body language will be stiff,” Tebb points out. “They’ll also go to the washroom to use their phone.”

And if she’s not feeling the chemistry, she’ll make an excuse to leave.

Went On A Date And He's Still Logging In To Dating Sites

“Women will sit there and listen to be polite but then say something like they’re tired or they have to get going because they have an early day the next day,” Tebb says. “I think women will still be attentive on the date but we’re not flirting as much – like smiling or batting our eye lashes or getting close to them. They’ll be a little more standoff-ish and guarded.”

Signs he’s not into you

Went On A Date And He's Still Logging In To Dating Site Video

The first sign that often signals when a man isn’t interested, Tebb says, is when he limits his communication.

Went On A Date And He's Still Logging In To Dating Site Without

“You’re always the one texting or contacting them,” she says. “They’re not really checking in daily, but maybe they’re checking in twice a week instead. And you always seem to be the one to text him first.”

In these cases, men are hoping women will get the hint, Tebb says.

“This is why women get confused,” she says. “They feel a date has gone well but then they’re left with no answers.”

According to Tebb, a guy will also not introduce a woman to his friends, or give her a peek inside his world if he doesn’t plan on taking the relationship to the next level.

READ MORE: 15 opening lines that will get a response on your dating apps

Guys won’t often organize the dates, and if they do they’re usually very casual.

“Guys who aren’t invested won’t plan any dates for you,” Tebb explains. “If they do, it’s more of a ‘Netflix and chill’ date. These guys will be more casual, like suggesting you go over to their place and you guys will order takeout. Whereas the guys that are more into you will actually plan dates, put in the time to get to know you before you guys get to the nitty gritty.”

If guys are on a date with a girl they’re not interested in, Tebb says they’ll often avoid eye contact and will look at other women.

“He’ll also look at the time and comment that he has other plans later,” Tebb says. “If you have a date you shouldn’t have back-up plans right after the date. If you have a date it should be for that evening. So guys will be casual about it and meet you for a quick coffee and if it doesn’t go well, they’ll have plans to go see their buddy. But that doesn’t really give the date a fair shot.”

What to do

If you’re left confused on where you stand with your date, the best thing you can do is to trust your gut, Tebb says.

“Trust your intuition and don’t be afraid to bring it up in a conversation,” Tebb advises. “I think men really value women who are open and honest, and there’s nothing wrong with showing a little vulnerability.”

And rather than outright asking point blank out of the blue about where they stand, Tebb says it’s best to word it in a way that’s playful and light.

For example, let the person know that other people have been asking you out but before you say yes, you’d like to figure out what the status of the current relationship is.

“It’s playful and they don’t feel the pressure,” Tebb says.

If their answer is on the fence or if you’re given the green light to date other people, then maybe it’s time to call it off.

© 2017 Global News, a division of Corus Entertainment Inc.

Sponsored content

Comments are closed.